you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
there is glitter all over my balls
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize