Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
