At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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