My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
