so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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