i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
