she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
