Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
