They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize