I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize