I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize