I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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