Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
