I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
so much tequila, so little girl.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
