Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
