Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
