he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize