i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I could fuck to npr.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
