btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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