If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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