wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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