I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
