Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
