Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
the liver wants what the liver wants
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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