dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
