Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just pee around me
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
