WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Randomize
