my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
