I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she woke up with a sticky ear
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
