oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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