Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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