i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
