never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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