then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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