Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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