i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
