was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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