I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
