Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
