not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize