The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
