There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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