I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
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