She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
