just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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