You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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