My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
