So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
