I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
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