I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
