my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
