I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
