summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
