we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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