Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
and she was petting her beer can
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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