very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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