She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
