So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
