Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
