She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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