That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize