we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i believe in u and ur pee
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
