just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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