so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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