I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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