Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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