yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
