he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
