he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize